Monday, July 21, 2014

Mommy mortification

If you have recently experienced a moment of embarrassment, I'm going to share a story that is going to make you feel a whole lot better about yourself.  Pull up a chair friends, and prepare to share in my recent moment of mortification.

We are in the midst of potty training Liam (that's a whole other post that I'll get to eventually); we started on Saturday, July 12th and went full-force with underwear.  Things went well that day, considering it was the first day.  The next morning, I was taking the kids to church while Brian stayed at home to get some work done around the house.  Normally the kids go to Sunday school while we attend service, but in the summer they don't have Sunday school; they do have a Children's Church during service, but you have to be 4 years old to attend Liam's choices are go to the nursery or come to the service with me.  He has decided that the nursery is for babies and refuses to go.  Fine, no problem, he's usually pretty good during the services and keeps himself occupied with crayons, books, and snacks.

We drop Jake off in his room and head up to the service.  Within minutes of sitting down, Liam had to go potty.  We make a run for it...success, phew.  Sit back down.  This happens 2 other times during the service (if you're keeping count, that's a total of 3 times)  We are nearing the end of the services and we're in line for communion; I am 2 people back from it being my turn when Liam declares for the 4th time (quite loudly over the sound of the music) "MOMMY I NEED TO GO POTTY!!!"   A few chuckles and understanding looks from the other people around us follow.  I bent down and told him that it was almost my turn to get my bread then we would go straight to the potty. 


By now we are up front and it's my turn; the pastor bends down to say hi to Liam, who decided to go into shy mode at that moment.  He was kind of hiding up against my legs....I had on a dress and I was standing with my legs about hip width apart, which was just far enough apart for Liam to wedge his little body in between my legs and come out the other side.....taking my dress up with him.  I can say with about 99% certainly that I flashed the entire congregation while Liam was saying "I need to go potty, do I get bread??"  I quickly moved him out of the way and ran out the side door to the bathroom, bypassing the wine. 

He did his business in the bathroom, and we returned to our seats just as the service is ending.  We filed out and the pastor always greets people outside of the doors; we walked up to him and again, he bent down to Liam (who I was bracing far AWAY from my legs, mind you) but no worries, Liam decided to turn into Mr. Chatterbox now.  (NOW he decides to not be shy, go figure)  Oh no, full on chatterbox mode...

"hi I'm Liam, I'm 3.  My brother is Jake, he's big.  What's your name?  Did you know I'm going potty like a big boy?  I'm wearing underwear, want to see??"

Insert Liam attempting to pull down his shorts here and show the pastor his underwear. 

 I wish I could say I was kidding, but all I could do was yank his pants back up and throw a little "Ok, thanks, have a great day!" over my shoulder as we high-tailed it out of there. 

Don't worry about me, Liam...I'll just be over here, curled up in the fetal position, hiding under a pew until the entire church has emptied out.

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