Friday, April 16, 2010
Leaving my baby....
Ok, so maybe he's not a baby anymore, but it's not making it any easier for me to leave him for the first time. Yes, the first time ever...I know that might seem weird to some people that he's over 2 years old and I've never left him overnight, but to be honest, I've never had a reason to. I haven't had anywhere to go that's required me leaving him overnight!
That changes next week, I get to go to a conference for work in San Francisco. I'm SO excited to go, it's my first time going to California and I'm very excited to spend some time with my fun co-workers and explore a new city. But I will be very sad to leave Jake behind for 4 days, though I know he's going to have a ton of fun having "Man Week" with daddy.
I think it's just another example of working mothers guilt...I love having a balance of work/home, but it's hard sometimes. It's hard when I leave my building for lunch and I see other moms taking their kids to Story Hour at the library or hanging out in the plaza with the carousel just across from my building. It's hard walking in the door at 5:30 and trying to get dinner on the table, clean up dishes, pack lunches for the next day and spend that limited time with Jake before it's bedtime.
I want to take advantage of every minute that I have with him when I'm not at work, while also keeping my sanity at home by trying to have a reasonably clean house and not go crazy with laundry and the never ending work that comes with a house. Brian commented the other day how he's excited that summer is almost here, but he also hates the fact that it means more time spent mowing the lawn & doing other yard work, which means less time spent with Jake. The good news is, Jake has all of the tools required to help out in the yard this year, so we can put him to work & spend quality time together :)
But the truth is, even though sometimes I get stressed or sad about these things, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm lucky to have found a job I like, I'm lucky that we have a wonderful daycare for Jake that we all love and I'm lucky that Brian & I are both on the same page when it comes to really making the most of the time we do have together. Sure, things will always come up....it seems like weekends fill up too quickly and trying to get stuff done around the house is one endless project after another....but there is time in between all of that and we take advantage of it as much as we can. He's only this little once, so if what makes him happy is going to the park every night or going to the zoo every other weekend, then we're happy to help him out :)